Through
the following fanciful example we try to illustrate the importance of our rules
and guidelines.
Let us suppose we are
in a cafe.
Three topics were suggested and the chosen one appears to be: "What
is a family?"
Every talktimer should remember:
that the purpose of a talktime is neither to find the truth nor to
teach specific philosophical theories. 
try
to teach or indoctrinate
that diversity of perspectives is one of our great strengths.
Ideas contend and through contending we
aim freeing a foreign language within
us.
attack
people
attack
ideas
that we focus on
ideas, not people. We focus
our comments on the idea, and never on its proposer.
In this process,
criticism of ideas should at no time get personal. We never shoot at each other.
that even if during our everyday life some of us believe that task is far more
important than relationship,
in the TalkTime Team environment,
both task and relationship count. Thus accomplishing the task of
setting
our English free at the expense of the relationships is considered a failure.
For making our talktime a success in both task and relationship we follow
RULES
(decalogue).
Now the talktime
begins :
Since
personal introductions are not expected the facilitator decides
to open the debate by inviting
talktimers to talk.
Someone puts up his hand and asks to introduce the debate.
He talks
during a couple of minutes about the legal responsibility of the members of a
family.
Later he adds that liberal economic systems favor the legal status
of a family more than socialist systems.
He would like to develop that idea
but he does not dare because someone had hinted him that talktimers
avoid
speaking about politics. With regard to politics
the facilitator reminds that at present in TalkTime
we are allowed (and even encouraged)
to speak about politics.
express
political ideas if you feel like, but please obviate propaganda
and proselytism
Consequently the talktimer is invited to elaborate his theory as long as it is to the point.
Then, a girl expresses that we should see families as the focus for maintaining
moral obligations
and elaborates on that.
A newcomer suddenly asks her what her sign of the zodiac is.
ask
questions
Immediately
someone reacts by telling the new participant that we
ask no questions of any kind whatsoever
during a talktime
and secondly that he should ask permission to the moderator by raising his hand
before talking.
The facilitator tells the group to use the girl's assertion concerning moral
obligations to put into practice
our method that encourages to challenge each
other's statements in order to advance the discussion.
Some
of the talktimers raise their hands. Different opinions arise. A boy, for instance,
points out that for
him 'family' refers to a social unit. It is basically
an organization or institution that holds people together.
He claims that
family is all about survivability. Someone disagrees with the last statement
because such
an assertion implies excluding same sex couples that according
to him do form a family. A lady advocates
that through adoption same sex couples
may also bring up children. An interesting dicussion follows on the
subject.
We hear plenty of discrepancies and the talktime becomes exciting.
deal
with any issue as long as it is treated respectfully
The crossfire
changes course when someone else observes that the term 'family' has different
meanings
in different cultures. He explains that in Israel he noticed that
families tended to be regarded as an obligation
of the whole society (as in
the Kibbutz). And that in India he observed that families are an extended unit
that
goes on forever and members are supposed to take care of those within
their unit.
Someone asks if this talktimer is not transgressing a rule when he
mentions a personal trip. The moderator
answers that in the previous
testimony the reference to personal life was very brief and only presented to
illustrate the topic. There had not been violation of the decalogue.
There follows a discussion of the phenomenon of family breakdown in Argentina
and what causes it.
A female newcomer starts to give details about her solitude
and how difficult it is for her to cope with...
speak
about your personal life
One of the taktimers immediately interrupts her speech and reminds her a golden
rule of the decalogue:
<<References to private
life are forbidden>>
Someone else adds
that a talktime should not be taken as a therapy group and that catharsis is not
allowed.
make
a break in a talktime if someone goes against our rules
At this point a newcomer starts smoking. We kindly remind
him that smoking is not allowed
unless all other participants agree. Of course
he can leave the table for some minutes to smoke a
cigarette outside and then
return.
smoke,
unless everyone agrees
A lady insists that we should keep things simple and try not to give definitions
that are too complicated.
"When we hear or use the word 'family' - she
states - we should always associate it only with our parents,
brothers and
sisters". She emphasizes that it is something sacred and not to argue about...
proclaim
your argument as a dogma
The facilitator intervenes and politely reminds this
lady that dogma is banned during a talktime
according to our rules.
A man arrives and joins the group while excusing himself for the delay and
clamorously specifying
that today it's his birthday. He puts a birthday cake
on the table that he plans to share with what he
proudly calls "his TalkTime
family".
treat
talktimers as friends during the TalkTime hour
The moderator proclaims that TalkTime is by no means
a family and not even a group of friends
but a "learn-by-doing"
movement devoted to making effective oral communication in foreign languages
an Argentine reality. The facilitator reminds also that personal celebrations
are not allowed during a talktime.
Once the talktime is over everyone is free
for celebrations or whatever but never during the talktime itself.
We finally
let him know that excuses for the delay are not expected because punctuality is
not required;
people arrive or leave whenever they want as long as they don't
cause disorder.
arrive
at any time, punctuality is not a must
leave
at any time, no apologies expected
After summarizing the discussion up to this point, the
moderator (in accordance to one of our rules
mentioning that we should suggest
alternative avenues for the discussion) makes reference to our society
that
is giving rise to 'family' arrangements. "Exactly!" yells a guy "my
wife is very depressed because of the
local situation; I cannot stand her
anymore and we made a family arrangement and that is the reason why
once a
week I shall be among you. I don't need to liberate my English but I am here to
liberate myself from
my wife and would like to let you girls know that..."
come
to TalkTime as if you were coming to a "pick up" club
A talktimer breaks in and tells this guy that even if our talktimes happen
in a positive and relaxed
atmosphere, we are not a "pick up club"
and suitable conduct of our participants is required.
People
are again discussing about the family arrangements that are not necessarily accepted
by
the society. A male teenager expresses that polygamy and other alternative
partnering arrangements
can qualify as constituting families...
A newcomer interrupts and expresses her anger after
listening to this teenager's statements and
accuses him of being immoral.
interrupt
unless the speaker clearly fails to comply with our rules
The facilitator steps in and firmly reminds the newcomer that according to
our rules she should not
interrupt,
that her criticism should be
calm and respectful, directed only at the content of ideas, never
at people,
and if she does not follow our rules she will be asked to leave the talktime.
A student, through an interesting testimony, reminds us that culture may not
always be right, insisting
that the western culture provides us with guidelines
that are too often wrong. A gentleman seems to take
offence after hearing this last opinion coming from a young person
that is challenging his personal beliefs.
The facilitator calms him down reminding
that TalkTime's philosophical approach to such issues includes
the freedom to question the established
norms in order to fuel the fire and activate the debate.
rekindle
our discussions and become a sniper of ideas
A seasoned
talktimer then describes that according to our rules nobody should feel hurt if
someone
challenges personal beliefs. Another talktimer helps by explaining
that according to our decalogue
participants
have even the choice to acquire a "second personality" and maybe
some of the present talktimers were
actually
indulging in their right to provoke by not necessarily expressing true personal
feelings.
adopt,
if you wish, a second personality and become the devil´s advocate
Eventually another talktimer emphasizes by telling
the gentleman that if he does not like to comply
with our rules, he should
not join TalkTime. We all consent that we must avoid getting involved
emotionally
in the statements we say or hear.
get
involved emotionally
Chitchat
inside the group is becoming disturbing. We hear a lady promoting a Tupperware
party that
she organizes tomorrow in her appartment. The facilitator asks
for silence and reminds that each person
should grant everyone the right to
speak and we should all respectfully listen.
allow
cross dialogue
allow
merchandising
A talktimer warns the organizer of the Tupperware party that no personal sales network
is to be
promoted during a talktime.
At this point, a newcomer who lacks fluency in English, timidly explains there
is one thing that may
define the function of any genuine family: that is the
unconditional love married parents give to their children.
respect
talktimers´right to speak and to be listened to even if they are not fluent
in English
Before we end the talktime, the moderator suggests that we should finally try
to relate the family issue
not only to the Argentine context. Since it seems
there are some expats and tourists among today's
audience, the remainder of
the discussion is devoted to listening to the testimonies of two overseas visitors
who speak about the reality in their own countries. One of them believes that
men in his country tend to be
over-protected by their families. And then an
Asian tourist explained that children in her country are not
encouraged to
explore the outside world and their future is largely determined for them by their
life-long
need to respect their parents' wishes. She adds that this results
in an unusually slow development for men
and an inability to handle difficult
situations, especially in mid-life.
contribute
to intercultural interaction if you are an overseas visitor
As we close the discussion a firstcomer asks permission to conclude the talktime
with some guidance
regards family life.
offer
or expect any counseling
We kindly tell this well-intentioned person that in TalkTime we never pronounce conclusions.
Time is up!
get
rid of your "straitjacket" when the talktime is over.
We
leave rules behind! Relax,
Don´t worry, Be happy
